Bully Victim Returns To School Of Her Abuse

Bullying classmates and "vicious" Catholic nuns preyed on her because she had a physical disability, making her childhood a living hell.

But half a century later, Kuini Te Miha-Ryan (pic'd on right) has faced her demons, returning to Our Lady of the Rosary School in Lower Hutt to confront the perpetrators who ridiculed her as a scared little girl.

"I'm here to take back my mana," she said at the school's 75th jubilee celebrations at the weekend.

Born with cerebral palsy, Mrs Te Miha-Ryan had an inverted chest and facial paralysis, leaving her with a speech impediment that makes her dribble.

A new entrant at the Catholic school in 1956, she was made to wear a bib and victimised for eight years by cruel classmates and disciplinarian nuns - singled out for profound emotional and physical abuse.

The Catholic Church said yesterday that it was disturbed by the allegations and would investigate whether bullying went on at the school.

Terrified of public speaking, Mrs Te Miha-Ryan said she was forced to read aloud in class and still had scarred knuckles from regular canings - meted out with steel-stripped wooden rulers for slurring words or speaking te reo.

She was spat on by classmates, ruthlessly mocked and assaulted by a nun, often arriving home in tears, she said.

The abuse took its toll on her life - drugs, alcohol addiction, violent relationships and counselling - all linked to the bullying, she believed.

"The self-esteem, the hurt, the anger, the pain. You couldn't measure the pain, there was no scale.

"I didn't know who I was, I didn't know what I was. I didn't like myself, I hated myself. I felt I was put on this earth to be punished."

On learning that the school was holding the jubilee, Mrs Te Miha-Ryan - now aged 55, sober, married and working at a Timaru rest home - resolved to face her past.

She contacted old friend and classmate Kay Martin, who recalls regularly being brought to tears by her friend's treatment.

"It does have to be seen in the cultural context of the day, but it was vicious," Ms Martin said.
"The ridicule was profound and pervasive - it never stopped.

"They were children. We're talking 50 years later. But it certainly wouldn't hurt for them to be aware of the damage their behaviour caused."

In emotional scenes on Saturday, elder Wikitoria Paaka blessed an anxious Mrs Te Miha-Ryan at the school gate to give her strength. She broke down in Mrs Paaka's arms, sobbing uncontrollably as memories flooded back, before re-entering the school in a specially made korowai (feathered cloak), for the first time since 1964.

The old classrooms looked much the same, though the Sisters of St Joseph nuns who allegedly dished out the abuse were long since gone. Several of her reunions were positive, including a meeting with former school-friend and now-social worker Trudy Stead.

However, Mrs Te Miha-Ryan came face to face with one of her tormentors - a man who had picked on her because of her speech.

"He couldn't remember, or didn't want to remember. He said he was only a child and didn't know any different.

"I said, `Maybe you didn't know any different, but I would like to tell you what damage was done."'

Ms Stead provided support during the confrontation.

Relieved, Mrs Te Miha-Ryan said she felt a weight had been lifted from her shoulders after the meeting.

"I know that I belong. I've got my mana back - that's what I wanted.

"There are nasty people out there but I can now close that door to the past and I have got a beautiful future."

The school is a very different place now, largely state-funded and run by a board of trustees.

Waiwhetu parish priest Father Michael Stieller said yesterday that he was "terribly distressed" by the claims and invited Mrs Te Miha-Ryan to contact the church so an investigation could commence.

Catholic Church spokeswoman Lyndsay Freer said discipline at Catholic schools at the time was "firm" but bullying of the type alleged was "totally un-Christian".

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